Recently I had a conversation with one of my good friends about frum girls getting plastic(aesthetic) surgery. My friend happens to be in medical residency and has experience with plastics. For sake of anonymity I’ll call this eligible doctor friend “Ed”.
It wasn’t so much a debate as it was Ed claiming that a lot of girls (from frum families) often get surgery and myself refusing to believe such bubbe-maisehs.
(For the sake of this conversation, girl frum = shabbos, kosher, davening, snius)
I guess I have always associated plastic surgery with Hollywood/Movies, and TV. Other than for medical purposes I can’t fathom how a typical frum family can be so casual with something that in my view comes from such non-Jewish values.
How does that even work?? Does a girl one day go up to her parents; “Hey Dad, Can I get a nose job? I think it’ll increase my shidduch potential!”, and the Dad is like “Great Idea!, Go tell your mom!”
Unless the girl is seriously unattractive and really does need a surgeons magic for shidduchim purposes, I have a hard time comprehending the realistic and practical need for any aesthetic surgery.
After the conversation with Ed, I was absolutely floored that it could be so common. I decided I would start polling around. I couldn’t help my curiosity, how common is it for jewish girls to change their features?
So after speaking to a few friends who admitted they got surgery (and yes, these are eligible attractive frum maidels). For the most part, the girls only went for Rhinoplasty, aka nose jobs. Ok, it’s not really changing their looks a whole lot or hiding serious deformities. But a simple google image search will show you that a nose job does indeed make someone go up several notches on the attractive scale. (Note: I’m still waiting to see their before/after photos.. I’ll make an update posting when I see them).
So how does this affect shidduch dating? I guess as a guy, wouldn’t we want a little disclosure when shidduch dating with a girl? I feel like it’s a secret way for girls to hide their true genetics. Imagine having kids and they come out like little monsters “well honey, that ain’t from my side of the family, care to explain?”. Likely most guys won’t care, after all they’re with someone totally attractive and proud to be with, heck their potential life long search is over and that’s enough for them.
How does this affect the girls shidduch dating, for starters just average girls are becoming above average in looks giving them a higher competitive edge on the shidduch scene with boys, the other average girls are left fighting over the scraps. This will eventually lead to unrealistic expectations for average guys looking for above average girls (read: Shidduch Crisis). I’m not saying this is the cause of the crisis or even a factor, but this is potentially one area that certainly doesn’t mitigate the crisis.
To be fair, I found one buddy who got a nose job, however that was for a Deviated Septum.. so he’s off the hook as it’s medical purpose.