Ungentlemanly, But is it Wrong?

Why is it that when a man picks a girl up for a date, he always has to get out of the car and go to the front door. Sometimes we meet the parents, sometimes not. All to often it’s awkward, almost uncomfortable, and always just a bunch of social formalities being said. Even then, more than half the time it doesn’t go past one or two dates before one side ends it, so why even bother having him meet the parents or approach the door?

Why can’t we just be allowed to call or text when we’re in front of the house? I know it’s not as gentleman like or chevalier as we could (and rightfully should) be. However it’s not like we’re in a relationship, heck more likely than not it won’t work out anyways. So why not spare the guy all the uncomfortable and awkward moments. He doesn’t need to meet your parents, he doesn’t need to pass any judgemental parental requirements until at least after the first few dates, and that’s if he gets that far. Big IF.

If anything, the guy deserves not to have to go ring the front door. We pay for the whole experience (and it isn’t always cheap). If it’s not one of those basic coffee or lounge dates the bill can really rack up. Factor flight/travel costs, meal costs, activity costs, rental or gas costs (especially for situations where the guy flies a girls in… yes I am one of those guys since I can’t always take off to NY to date). Dating is simply not cheap, and therefore I argue that the men should call the shots as we’re usually the ones expensing the entire evening and therefore we deserve to be as comfortable as possible. 

I know most girls dream of their knight in shining armor marching to the door and escorting them out, however that isn’t reality. Why couldn’t they wait until at least a second or third date when the two already have begun to start knowing each other.

As I see it, it is just another thing girls make guys do to satisfy their fantasy notions. Something I don’t mind,  just please not for the first date.


3 responses to “Ungentlemanly, But is it Wrong?

  1. I agree and I actually try to enforce that if I can help it. The initial meeting of the parents is always a bit awkward – especially if it’s on a first date because you two don’t know one another or have any shared experiences yet.

    Good read and a valid opinion.

    That said, I’m looking for people to be Beta Testers of sorts for my new blog on WordPress.org. It’s about expanding the definition of “the Gentleman” to modern times. From the looks of it your opinion would be a good contributor to the site.

    If you’re interested – just respond to this letting me know and I’ll send you the link. If not – happy blogging.

  2. “Dating is simply not cheap, and therefore I argue that the men should call the shots as we’re usually the ones expensing the entire evening and therefore we deserve to be as comfortable as possible. ”

    I think that kind of attitude takes the gentlemanly aspect out of paying for the date. Also, it may be true that most dates don’t work out, but it’s worth it to act gentlemanly for the one time that it does work out, no?

    • You are right about that, to a degree it does take out some of the Gentlemanly aspect from paying on a date. It doesn’t take all of it though, there is plenty more area’s where a guy can show his dashing abilities to treat a girl right. (Giving her options of different venues, opening/closing doors, through polite conversation, etc..)

      I probably should have been more clear on that point which you quoted me. I did not mean that a guy should control the entire evening and dictate because he foots the bill. I meant for the few aspects of the date with which a guy may find himself in uncomfortable spots. Most specifically I had in mind the issue of meeting parents on first dates.

      While I enjoy meeting parents (especially my friends parents). Meeting girls & her parents for the first time at the same time is not comfortable. I can’t tell you how often I’ve bumped into parents of girls I’ve taken out and it was an awkward exchange of hello’s.

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