I just read Bad4’s two part article on “Dating Boys: Warning Signs”.
I have to agree with her and her experiences. I also have a few comments about her post.
As a guy I have seen and heard of similar experiences first hand. I notice the indecisiveness and the lack of proper planning from many
Guys should always have 1-3 options/ideas for a date. Even if you think it’s a lame idea (like a Starbucks), at least you have something, and something is better than nothing.
The guy should always ask her what she’d like to do (inevitably half the time ends up with her saying, “I don’t care – I’m up for anything – can you choose, etc…”), and then the guy can give the options and choose the one he likes most if the girl doesn’t mind.
Basically he asks her what she would like to do as a courtesy, fully knowing what he wants to do, but willing to be flexible if the girl has a preference. This is called keeping in control of the situation.
A man is supposed to be confident. This is potentially your future wife, she’s supposed to feel secure and strength coming from you. It’s really hard to be confident when you’re lost or don’t have control of the situation.
Plan your routes, learn and achieve a rough idea of the area you’re in. Set yourself waypoints (major street intersections, or parks/buildings) so you can always orientate yourself. (Worst case scenario… for young professionals; carry your iPhone/Blackberry/Android for GoogleMaps. It is better to look cheesy using a phone to get back on track with the date than to look incapable and unconfident being lost).
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DATE. – I can’t stress this enough to guys. This especially happens to guys who’ve begun to lose control of the date. Their nerves start going and they begin to lack awareness of the other persons needs. A perfect example is Bad4’s walk in the park leading up to coffee in part 2. This guy clearly stopped paying attention to her needs, beautiful qualities in a potential spouse (sarc).
To all my Bro’s out there listen up: YOU DON’T GO INTO A COFFEE SHOP ON A DATE BECAUSE YOU LIKE THEIR COFFEE, drinks/foods are the bonus. You go to find a place to sit down, talk, warm up, rest, use the bathroom, etc…, or better yet GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. Coffee shops are the ultimate date saving coup d’état before the date needs a coup de grâce. If you don’t understand what those terms mean use a dictionary/google.
After any activity you can use a coffee shop for any potential needs. It’s a rest stop along the dating highway. If you’re in a bad situation like Bad4’s story… Get Your Ass In There, and get a grip on the situation. Learn to salvage what you can, or call it quits and end the night early. Coffee shops can play out in many different ways. Play to your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.