When too young is too young!

There comes a point in every (single) guys life when he is eventually too old for someone.

To be clear, he’s too old to date someone, or she’s too young for him to date. There’s a difference between those two, but for our purposes it’s opposite sides of the same coin.

Example: A man hits the age of 28… Probably this is a good time to stop dating 19 and 20 year olds or the flip side of the coin… to start looking more at the 23+ range (I would even go so far as to start with only 25+).

The reality is that the wider the age gap grows the larger the differences in experience, maturity, wants, needs, compatibility, etc…  It’s a fact of reality that none of us can escape. We all get older.

There are always exceptions to this, and I happen to know married couples that are 10 years apart, but this is more of an exception to the norm.

I picked the age 28 in my example for a reason. I know of an amazing successful individual whose close to that age and refuses to date girls above 24+ yet he is older. Frankly, its gotten to the point its become creepy. I would even go one step further and call it borderline pedophilia. It really is when you consider that there are plenty of eligible girls 23+, and no excuses for not meeting them.

I say 23+ because the likelihood of a 23+ obtaining some form of higher education or work experience is very credible, and thus a higher chance girls 23+ are more mature responsible adults. Again, there are exceptions to this.

While I don’t consider men 26+ as old guys, I do consider them too old to date girls between 18-23 (unless the girl has been working for a number of years, or has finished, or nearly completed an undergraduate program of some sort for the same reasons as mentioned above).

While there may be creepy guys out there who only want to date young girls, Shadchans can also be as big a systemic problem. For some reason Shadchans don’t seem to understand that no means NO!  That sometimes too young is too young. What I mean is that I personally don’t want to date young girls. It’s incredible, almost every shadchans mentions girls between 19-21. I’m not sure what part of “I don’t want to date girls too young” they do not understand.

I’m in my mid twenties, so I get it. I get that potentially dating a girl 20 isn’t so crazy of an idea, and all the more so for 21,22,23 etc.. But… and a big BUT, I just find that no amount of “She’s so mature for her age”, or “She’s really ahead of her years” will ever make up for time and experience. Bottom line is, when I take out younger girls on dates (and I won’t refuse meeting someone, especially if they’re local to me) but the bottom line is that no matter how mature or whatever else a shadchan says… I will always feel like I’m a camp counsellor  or some sort of youth group leader to that person.

Men need equals, not little girls. Companionship is a two way street, and it’s an adult game.

When someone asks what I’m looking for I tend to say “a young professional”. I feel this adequately describes anyone whose mature enough for a relationship without being too limiting. It’s boggling that some shadchans cannot understand this.